Funny Things You Never Expect to Say, But Do Routinely Once You Have Children...

1.  Honey, don't put the fork in your ear.
2.  Please get your feet out of the dogs water bowl.
3.  No, we do not wash our hands in the toliet.
4.  Please don't put your eggs in the orange juice.
5.  Get the dog food out of your mouth!
6.  Do you want the boogie-sucker?  (the nasal aspirator keeps him entertained during diaper changes)
7.  Why do you have pasta in your nose?
8.  Why are there teeth marks in the chapstick?
9.  Is this crayon on the health insurance application?
10.  Please take mommy's keys out of the stereo.