Huh?

I've been struggling a lot with time management lately.  Which brings me to why I started this blog in the first place.  My ideal world is one where I can wake up when my eyes open (I've been blessed with a son who likes to sleep late, or at least play in his crib for an hour or so), and work from home, on my schedule, so I can raise my son without having to use daycare. 

The problems arise because I am also working half time, and mostly responsible for maintaining my house.  Please don't get me wrong, my husband is a wonderful man, a great husband and an even better father.  But let's call it as it is.  He hates cleaning and he couldn't remember to schedule J's routine doctor's appointments if his life depended on it.  It's not that he expects me to do it; he just doesn't see why it's necessary.  Suffice to say that we have different standards.

But I digress.  I haven't been able to figure out a schedule where I can keep up with the housework, be a good mom to my son, work and then find time to build my own writing career.  I suppose this comes with the territory of parenting and motherhood - setting priorities, making sacrifices and finding balance. Where should my priorities be?  Finishing laundry?  Dusting?  Actually sitting down to write an article I can sell?

I'm coming to realize that motherhood is a life of contradictions and uncertainty.  It's hard to know what the right thing to do is.  As it's been said countless times before, there is no training guide or instruction manual, so it's up to us to figure it out.  It's about deciding what works best for you, your family and your child.

I know that I'm not the only mom who struggles with this and knowing that makes it a little easier.  But it can be so hard to have faith in your decisions, when it seems that every one you make can potentially affect your child FOR LIFE.  With that kind of pressure, it's no wonder that many moms, myself included, struggle with depression, anxiety and self doubt.  

The only thing I can do is remember to take each day as it comes.  Make writing time and time with my son my very first priority and move one step at a time.  Oh, and delegate cleaning the bathroom to my husband. =)